Fake It Till You Make It
I have a confession to make, I am a total fraud.
Phew, that felt good to say out loud. I’ll be the first to raise my hand at a Fakers Anonymous meeting, “Hi, my name is Tiffany and I’m a fake”. You see, I may seem like I have my shit together but I totally don’t and if you’re anything like me, my guess is, you don’t either. We all drive around in our clean-on-the-outside-fish-cracker-infested-inside SUV’s with our pretty handbags and Starbucks cups thinking we’re puttin’ on a good show but I’m here to say, we’re not foolin’ anyone.
Relax, I’m not here to out anyone, I just want to tell ya’ll that (wink, wink) I see you over there looking all put together and perfect but I know what’s really going on. Don’t worry, I’m right there with you.
Still not ready to raise your hand? Check out my list of fakery tactics and then lets meet at Starbucks and have a chat.
You might be fake if...
♦ If someone a hot guy is running toward me, I’ll run faster and harder…until they pass me and then I’ll walk.
♦ If my kids are misbehaving in line at the grocery store, I’ll use my sing song-y sweet voice to get them into order…until we get into the car and then I’ll tell them Santa’s NOT coming this year.
♦ If you call me and tell me you’re coming over, I’ll clean any square foot of space that has a chance of being seen by you…until you leave and then I’ll brush the crumbs from the counter onto the floor.
♦ If I need to go to my kids school to pick them up, I’ll pin my hair in a hip side pony and wear my chic hat with a slight tilt…until I get home to finally have a shower after 4 days of a busy schedule that didn’t include soap and water (for me anyway).
♦ If you’re amazed by the continuous weeks of meal planning, I’ll gladly share my “family friendly” recipes with you…until I serve it to my own kids and NONE of them want to eat it. (sigh)
♦ If you think I’m handling my crazy life and 4 kids with style and grace, I’ll happily thank you for the compliment, “it’s not that hard really, they’re good kids”…until I need to crack open the Ativan.
♦ If you think I’d change anything about my life, I’ll tell you there’s no way I would…until I “make it” and then I’ll wonder how I ever survived any of it.
Fake it till you make it, ladies!
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That is too funny! I can relate with all of this (well, except for the running part – I haven’t run since I was pregnant – sigh). I do try to clean up my act for “public approval”, but then spend half the morning cleaning the house in my underwear and drinking cups of tea that I’ve forgotten around the house.
So glamourous, I am. 😉
Tara @ Suburble recently posted..We Grew That!
So glad to have found your site. I LOVE this list and I am guilty of all and every one of the above:))
lol…LOVE it and I think we have all been there, I know I have!!
Monica recently posted..Canada Rocks Giveaways ~ Linky for July 29th – August 4th
hahhahaha, that is so too funny.
Terri recently posted..Happy Birthday Baby Girl
Too funny! I also have a gold-fish infested SUV 🙂
Kelly @ A Swell Place to Dwell recently posted..Our New Digs
This is so relateable. Haha. Sometimes I wonder if people know I don’t have it together….
Janelle @ Two Cups of Happy recently posted..etsy finds | nautical by nature
Yes. I would clean any square of my house when visit comes over. I just have to. 🙂
Mama and the City recently posted..The Best Fish Tacos For My Birthday Please
I think we all do what we can not to end up as the photo of the day on “the people of WalMart” website. I have quietly leaned down to my misbehaving son and through gritted teeth whispered in his ear a threat that smelled of the seventh circle of hell. He went quiet. It all looked very calm, but he will still be talking to his shrink about it when he turns 30.
Magnolia recently posted..Zombies Walk Among Us
Oh my, loved this post. It made me laugh, because it’s so freaking true!
haha so true! actually you sound very real, not fake – cause that’s life, right?
Dani @ lifeovereasy recently posted..How To Have A Crazy Awesome Sister Road Trip
So true and good for a morning laugh!
Shauna @ Satori Design for Living recently posted..Shabby Chic Couture in Santa Monica
LOL I may or may not have faked all the items you listed. Great post! Now off to finally shower for my run I’m not going to do later.
Kim McD recently posted..A wedding and a breakup – Our roadtrip to Kamloops BC
Love it! I must admit I have faked a good number of these things as well! Have a great weekend.
Lol! Too funny. I definitely fall into the faker category. And, I hate getting busted. i.e. friends who pop by right in the middle of my mid-week messy house. Not sure if you watch The League or not (it’s crass, but hilarious) — but there’s an episode where a character is eating crackers and jam off the counter (singing a ridiculous song), hears his babysitter come in, sweeps all of the crackers and jam into a drawer and is drinking a martini by the time she walks into the room. Faker perfection 🙂
tia recently posted..Progress Shot
I stumbled upon your blog while looking for a list of trailer supplies for camping! My husband and I both have read ourselves through your blog. What fun. Ahh.. Sometimes we have to remember we are not alone- human mom’s. I guess I am not the only one who goes to a fancy dinner in my fancy dress with my fancy purse, good looking husband all with goldfish smashed into the car seats. 😛
Cara I’m so glad you stumbled here. Goldfish is the new black.