Bloggy Guilt

Yes, I am afraid that I have discovered that my guilt has no bounds.

First there was Mommy Guilt.

Yes, I chose to add hundreds if not thousands of diapers to the landfill instead of reusable diapers. I’m sorry Mother Earth. I didn’t make every mouthful of food for my babies from scratch. I didn’t breastfeed the twins. I didn’t teach my infants baby sign language. I didn’t do flash cards with them. And don’t even get me started on working out and finding time for mommy.

 

 

Then came Wife Guilt.

You’re probably wondering why Wife Guilt comes after Mommy Guilt? Well before the kids I was a good wife. I didn’t know what tired was. The guilt didn’t come until I had children and decided that sleep was more important than sex. Date night means getting a sitter to go to Costco (true story) instead of a movie. I spend my money at Gymboree instead of Victoria’s Secret.

Then comes Friend Guilt.

You know all those friends who you used to have so much time for. Dinners on a Tuesday night. Coffee on the weekends. Window shopping downtown after a leisurely brunch. Ahhhhh, I miss those days. Now it’s music classes on Tuesday nights. Birthday parties on the weekends and brunch? What’s brunch? I’ve made so many good intentioned promises to “catch up” with old friends at coffee or lunch but sadly, I don’t have a lot of time for my current friends, let alone my old friends. I guess I’ll see you when the kids are in university?

Oh and last but not least…Bloggy Guilt.

I love my blog and I love writing even if nobody reads it. I’ve recently been educated that my blog is my business and that prospect excites me. But with all businesses comes responsibility. I know that content is king. I know that the more content I put up the more traffic I’ll get, yada, yada, yada. I know how this whole thing works yet I find myself sitting at my computer staring at the blank screen with nothing to say. I want to write. I want to share yet nothing appears. And I have guilt. I have guilt that I should be writing. I have guilt that I should be connecting. But I can’t. I find that when I have a lot going on in my head, it’s hard to sort it into lists. Then my unsorted lists get very long and I feel overwhelmed. And then the guilt. Ugh, it’s a downward spiral from there and then BOOM, 2 weeks passes with no new content. And so here I am with my first inspiration in 2 weeks. I guess the guilt was good for one thing after all.

I have decided that it’s not about the guilt of choosing one thing over another, it’s about what is best for me in the here and now. I didn’t breasted the twins because it was the best decision for me at that time. I enjoy spending time with my husband alone and in that moment our time was best spent on a Costco run rather than sitting at the movies. I embrace Facebook and keep up with my old friends as much as I can in hopes that I can connect with them in person and trust that they understand that I WANT to see them but these damn kids need to be fed like 3 times a day! And when my head is so full of fluff and stuff that I can’t put 2 words together I will take a clarifying break from blogging but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up, it just means that I’m giving in to the need to quiet things down. If ever you can’t find me on Facebook, then you can worry.

Do you feel guilt? How do you deal with it?

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