The Dirty Girls Action Plan For Lice

I can’t say it enough. Lice sucks. And for some reason the same kid has had it twice in her life and yet the other 3 kids (knock on wood) haven’t been affected. Lucky her. The first time we had lice in the house I wanted to move out and call that company that comes and covers the entire house with a plastic dome to spray out every room. We put stuffed animals in bags outside for weeks. We all but boiled every single fabric she may have come into contact with. And if I thought she wouldn’t be totally traumatized by it, I would have shaved her head. But just like everything in life, the second time you experience something, you have just that, experience. I know what to expect and I know how to fix it. No plastic domes needed.

 

 

Here is the Dirty Girls action plan for lice:

1) Scratch your own head (just the word lice makes people itchy) and then shudder with disgust because it’s freaking gross. You’re allowed. Resist the urge to burn your house down, it will be ok.

2) Check everyone else in the house! Including yourself. They like the warm spots on your head like the nape of the neck and behind the ears. Lawd help you if you have more than one kid infested, it’s gonna be a long night.

3) Start laundry. Everything that the infected child has played with, cuddled, slept on or worn. Wash in hot water and dry on hot setting for at least 1 hour to kill any critters. As if you needed more laundry to do, right? Things that can’t be washed should be sealed in a plastic bag for 7 days. Have the child sleep elsewhere (like a hotel?) for 48 hours to let any bugs on the mattress die. Lice can’t live longer than 24 hours without a live human host.

4) Buy lice treatment from the pharmacy. In fact buy a couple because it never hurts to give everyone a treatment just in case. Wait, maybe buy a few more just to keep on hand in a lice emergency…it could happen. I said I was experienced, I never said I wasn’t over cautious.

5) Buy a lice comb but get the good one. I got the LiceMeister metal comb and wow what a difference. Using the metal comb saved me hours of picking nits compared to the first time. The comb that comes in the box with the medicine is not as good and is plastic. Splurge on the $20 metal one.

6) Set up your treatment area with 2 non-fabric covered chairs, towels, water bottles (stay hydrated) or wine (stay hydrated) and a device to watch Netflix because sorry, it’s still gonna be a long night!

7) Put on your favourite funny movie and try to make the most out of the fact that the next several hours are going to be painful for both you and your back and the child and their head. At least you can laugh at a funny movie while you’re at it. We watched The Croods and Despicable Me, if that gives you any reference to how long the process takes. Ugh.

 

 

8) Ponytail detail. Lucky me, I have 4 daughters and as everyone knows, longer hair is more susceptible to catching lice so for the next 3 months, it’s ponytails for everyone! We don’t want anymore lice here!

9) Don’t forget to follow up with another medical treatment of lice stuff 7-10 days after to make sure you got em all. This ensures that if you missed even one egg and it happened to hatch, you’ll kill that bastard before it can lay more eggs. Grossed out yet?

10) Pray you got all the little buggers.

 

So, 22! That’s how many times I’ve itched my head while writing this post. How many times have you itched just reading it?

Lice sucks.