My Kid Is Online

She’s my oldest but she’s still my baby. I choke every time I refer to her as a tween, gulp, on the verge of teen-hood. I can’t keep her from growing up much longer and I don’t want to force her to give up her youth too soon but the fact is that she’s already in middle school, her body is changing (sorry B if you read this), she’s babysitting 3 siblings without hesitation or objection, she’s given up dolls for books and cartoons for Netflix.

 

The girl and her @Instagram account. We’re both growing up.

A photo posted by Tiffany (@mydirtca) on Apr 10, 2015 at 4:14pm PDT

  In just over a year from now, I’ll have a full on teenager. gulp. So after much discussion and debate, we decided to allow her to have an Instagram account (with a private setting). My kid is online, people. It seemed like the best choice for her as she loves to take photos and videos and it’s a platform that I can set to private and control (somewhat) who follows her. Almost immediately after starting her profile she started getting requests from potential followers, mostly spammers but who can be sure, really. It’s shocking how fast and furious those requests came in. Thankfully she understands that having this account is a privilege, not a right and it can be taken from her at any time. I have laid out the rules for her which she has agreed to follow:

1) Never post your location, address, phone number, age or full name

2) Never post your school name

3) Never take photos of yourself or anyone else in any state of undress or embarrassing situation

4) No violent or rude pictures/videos

5) Only we (the parents) can approve your followers

6) We (the parents) will monitor the accounts you are following for appropriate content

7) We (the parents) reserve the right to remove/delete your images or your account at any time

8) Never engage in negative behaviour or conversation online

9) If someone posts something negative/mean/abusive to you, bring it to us immediately

10) Be kind.

11) Find the beauty in what you see and capture it

12) Take lots of videos, we (the parents) love seeing videos of you at this age

13) Have fun. The internet doesn’t have to be a scary or dangerous place if you practice common sense.

14) Be you.

15) If you’re unsure of something, ask us, we won’t get mad, we promise! For real.

16) Everything we (the parents) do is because we love you

17) You’re never too old to take a selfie with us (the parents) so get used to it.

It only takes a couple of clicks to find some horror stories about young people and social media. The invention of instant broadcasting has created a place where bullying can be done from afar if not anonymously and can lead to irreparable damage like suicide. While I work daily on many social media platforms for my job, I can no longer justify to her why she can’t be a part of the cyber world that I immerse myself in. And so I will make this commitment to her: Being that her new venture into social media is just as much about what she posts as it is about her friends who will eventually follow her, I decided that if they (her friends) want to come to ‘my house’ to play, I have a few rules for them. We took this video with her iPod and posted it to her instagram account. We know that one day when she’s older, this won’t be relevant but for now, at her age, this is how we roll.

 

We (the parents) have allowed our 11 3/4 year old to have an @instagram account but we had some rules for her friends first. #love #mykid #familyfirst #fun #playniceonline

 

A video posted by Tiffany (@mydirtca) on Apr 10, 2015 at 3:49pm PDT

Welcome to Brigette’s Instagram account.

If you’re seeing this it’s because you’ve been approved by us (the parents).

Just like on a “playdate”, we have house rules:

Be kind and supportive.

Negativity or abuse will not be tolerated.

No re-grams or sharing of photos.

We (the parents) are the only ones who are allowed to post embarrassing photos of Brigette.

Have fun. Be silly. Laugh.

Remember, while we aren’t here all the time, one of us (her mom) works in social media and has eyes in the back of her head.

Have fun.

Are your tweens on social media? Do you have rules for them?