Pros & Cons of a Big Family
Don’t do it! Yup that’s my advice to anyone who wants to have many, many babies and by many, I mean 4 or more. When we decided to have children I always knew I’d have 2 babies. I grew up in a family of 2 and so just assumed I would also have 2 kids. My hubby, however, grew up in a family of 4 kids, boys to be exact, and so he wanted a big family. He claims to this day that we had a discussion about having 4 or 5 babies but clearly that must have been while I was asleep because I have no memory of such conversation. Anyway, we had our first 2 children with no such drama. Typical pregnancies and typical babies.
Easy peasy really.
And then we started talking about the next baby (singular).
BOOM!
TWINS!
Nice work universe! I didn’t even have the chance to negotiate having a 4th baby. I was lining up a sparkly piece of jewelry or a trip to France or something for that fourth baby.
So now we have 4 beautiful daughters and I love them all to bits. But if you see all those pictures of my cute kids and think, “oh, I want another baby”, stop right there. I’ve put together a list of pros and cons of a big family. My advice to you is to read them carefully before you procreate!
CONS
• People don’t invite you over anymore. Well to be fair, I don’t mean all people. Some people are obligated to invite you, like grandparents and well, that’s about it. Most people don’t want to invite your whole brood over to create chaos in their house. So unless you enjoy spending all your social time with your parents or your in-laws….
• You need to be rich! Dammit no one ever told me how expensive 4 kids was going to be. And we are not rich. Double dammit! 4 kids in swimming lessons, 4 kids in music lessons, 4 kids in dance, 4 kids in gymnastics, well you get the idea.
• It will take FOREVER to be out of diapers, bottles, onesies and strollers.
• You’ll need a bigger car to carry all six of us is a challenge. Your options are pretty much limited to the biggest gas guzzling SUV’s or a shaggin’ wagon.
• And while you’re at it, you’ll need a bigger house because hey, nobody told me that these little buggers actually take up more space as they get bigger.
• And speaking of bigger, don’t forget you’ll have to keep all of those growing weeds fed and clothed by law for at last 18 years.
Phew. Anybody keeping a tally?
• You’ll never sleep again!
• There will NEVER be enough bathrooms, ever!
• You will never get the last piece of cake.
• There is a whole new level to peeing with an audience.
• Homework will take at least 5 hours a night to complete. Reading, writing, math, essays, projects. As it is right now I only have elementary school aged kids and the amount of reading and spelling is a nightmare not to mention the self inflicted music lessons that require DAILY practicing.
• The noise. Nuff said.
PROS
• They learn how to take turns and work in groups. Teamwork.
• They always have someone to play with. We can put all the kids outside in the snow and they didn’t come back in for 3 hours! Brilliant!
• The older ones take care of the younger ones.
• Minions to do odd jobs around the house like going out to the spare fridge to get bread or getting the mail. Up next for my kids is toilets and vacuuming! I can’t wait!
• All of my kids are good sleepers because in our house it was NEVER quiet during nap time.
• They always have someone to sit with on a ride at an amusement park. Most rides seat 2 or 3 and if you have a family of 6, you’re always set.
• There’s a good chance that you’ll end up with a baseball teams worth of grandchildren one day in the VERY distant future.
• Speaking of the future, who do you think is going to take care of you when you’re old and grey? The more kids you have the better the chance at least 1 of them will let you move in.
• There’s a lot of love.
• Lots of laughter.
• 4 first steps, 4 first words, 4 first days of school, 4 graduations, 4 walks down the aisle
Ultimately, having a big family is not for the faint of heart. It takes a lot of organization, budgeting and many hands but the payoff is limitless… However it is becoming frighteningly clear that they are growing up faster than I can handle and before I know it they’ll be off living their own lives. I’m so happy to have a big family so I can stretch out the experience of raising my babies as long as possible. So hey, if you do decide to have that next baby, feel free to bring your brood to hang out with my brood because if there’s one thing I’ve learned about masses of kids it’s that they’ll play with each other and you can open up another bottle of wine.
Cheers! Uh, I mean, Procreate!
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That many positives huh. I am totally bringing my kids over. I hope you have a lock on the bathroom door.
Besos, Sarah
Blogger at Journeys of The Zoo
Sarah at Journeys of The Zoo recently posted..Weekly #Giveaway Linky at Journeys of The Zoo, WW, 11/19
I came from a big family too. There wasn’t a moment of quiet and I loved every bit of it. My husband came from a very quiet, very controlled, very calm house. No kids for us but our respective families are still like that! I love it.
PS: the universe has a nasty way of destroying our well laid plans!!
Bronwyn MayB recently posted..Monty’s fear of cleaning supplies
Hello! I accidentally landed on this post and enjoyed reading it! I come from a family of eight (three sisters and two brothers+mom and dad). I use to think that any family with four kids was a small family LOL. Well, all of my extended family has a large family (my dad has eleven siblings and my mom has six siblings–and there’s no half or step relation anywhere in there). I have to say I can’t agree with the cons since I’m not a mom haha but the pros are right on track. I can say I never felt lonely and growing up, I don’t really remember my parents doing chores much. & your daughters are beautiful 🙂
Thanks for finding me and for staying long enough to read. I love that you had a big family and hearing about it from someone as an adult. My kids are never lonely and almost never bored. I really need to master the art of getting the kids to do more chores tho! Thanks for stopping by, I hope you come back again. 🙂
I came from a large family (I’m the 7th daughter in a family of 8 girls and one boy) and I have a large family (4 boys came first and the 4 girls came last). I have to say that a lot of the cons people talk about aren’t cons to me.
One site posted a con as being, “not enough money for college”. I think that that is actually a good thing. It’s kind of hard but good. It means that my kids have to save money, work hard, search for scholarships, get good grades and really show that they want and deserve to go to college. I know that at first glance, not having much money can look like a bad thing but, in the long run, it’s really very good because you have to learn to budget really well and your kids learn to work hard for whatever they get. My 3rd oldest son is an amazing gymnast (Yes, I am a proud mother) but we don’t have the money to pay for him to be on the gymnastics team. So, he gives up his school lunch money and just makes a sandwich every day. Additionally, when he turns 16 in October, he will be a coach at the gym and that will give him a huge discount in his monthly tuition. So, we find creative ways to pay for what our kids want to do and encourage them to work hard. Also, they learn to budget well! And who wouldn’t benefit from learning to budget as a child?
Sure, sometimes problems slip through the cracks for a while but not usually for long. And, actually, this is a very good thing, most of the time. It means that my kids have to problem solve. They do their very best to solve their own problems and when it becomes obvious that they can’t solve it on their own, they know they can come to us OR I see the problem and offer my help.
My kids are very close and while they sometimes turn against each other, we always have discussions with them about what it means to be a family. We explain that they will always be brothers and sisters, friend will come and go but their siblings will always be there. That is why they need to work very hard on their relationships with each other more than with their friends. And from my own experiences growing up, I know that when you don’t have to live with each other, it’s a LOT easier to get along. So I remind them that someday they won’t be living under the same roof and if they can master getting along now they will have no problem later. They’ll also have less problems getting use to college roommates and marriage. When conflicts arise we sit down and everyone, including Mom and Dad, take turns sharing feelings, listening to others, and validating people’s points of view. These are skills that some people NEVER learn to do their entire lives! My kids are learning to do this every day. What great skills they will have! I am sooooo happy that they are learning these things and I am very proud of the mature men and women they are turning into.
No matter your family size you can make the most of every moment with your children. There are always ways to combat all the cons for both large and small families. it just takes careful planning and watchfulness on the side of the parents. That is key for any parent!
I am the oldest of seven kids, and I have loved every second of growing up! My best friends have been my siblings(Thanks Mom!) and my Mom has always taught us how to do things, actual things that people use in real life! I was with some friends the other day and they didn’t know how to use a sewing machine! I was in shock, but then I realized who was to thank, thanks again Mom!
Loved this artical!
I loved this article. I stumbled upon it while google searching, “Are 5 kids anymore work than 4?” Haha! I currently have 4 children and am considering having a 5th. I think I have officially lots my mind.
Hi Kristen, thanks for the comment. I think there’s a certain level of chaos that once is reached, it doesn’t matter anymore. I would imagine 3 kids is that level. 4 kids was a big leap from 2 kids but if we had 5 the costs would increase but the work would be the same. Good luck!